Be Happy

Did you know, that the "be" here, is a verb?

I guess I always knew it, but it just never registered.

But when it did, it changed the whole concept of being happy for me.

The Busy-ness of Being Happy

The "be" is not an adverb to be taken for granted, but a verb - a "doing word". I always thought that Being Happy is just a state of mind - like when you go to the sea, you "are happy". When I watch my kids playing I feel happy. When you go partying with your friends, or go hiking to the mountains with your buddies, you are happy too.

But did u really think that the business of happiness was actually that simple? The kids play the whole day - does that mean I get to be happy the whole day, every day? I live in Mumbai - I can go to the beach any morning I want - that should make me stay happy every day all the time, right?

Nope.

Happiness with an "I"

Nobody ever told me that that was just half the story. In fact, it is a very small part of the story in its entirety. I had to find that out on my own - after a long struggle with fibromyalgia with its migraines, huge amounts of unknown fears and anxiety, swirls of depression that suddenly engulf you, and threaten to completely drown you till you can't breathe, and panic attacks that hit you out of nowhere, neverending tears that others don't even see, the neverending silent cries and prayers for help - it suddenly dawned on me that you don't just be happy. Most often, you have to make yourself happy. Do whatever it takes to make you happy - dance to loud music, sing happy songs (or sad songs, if that makes you happier), paint, water the garden, grow vegetables, or maybe bang your car, shop, scream, shout , cry all night, watch old movies, sleep all day, switch off from social media, call up an old friend who will listen....

In the pursuit of happiness...

It's not enough to just want to be happy. No. Because who doesn't, right?

It takes a lot of effort.

And I believe that as we grow older, and achieve a partial understanding of the world around us with its sickness, and hunger, and poverty, it seems to become increasingly difficult to stay happy. Do you know why the Grinch in the Christmas story was grumpy all the time? He was a depressed old man who had given up.

So you either formulate a full understanding of the workings of the universe, which the holy books tell us, will afford us peace; or meanwhile, find little things that bring you even a small amount of joy and keep doing them - a little bit every single day, selfishly and unashamedly, without fail, for yourself alone. Recognize that you are happy, revel in it, and thank the universe for this opportunity. And do it again the next day. And the next.

Happiness is not the same as Joy

And this was given to me as another revelation - joy and happiness are two different things entirely. To me, happiness has a short-term, transient quality to it, whereas joy has a deeper connotation.

Google says that while "Happiness may dwell on materialistic, worldly pleasure, joy is derived from soul satisfying, emotional well being."

And both are important. In my opinion, no one is greater than the other. We need to laugh out loud at silly things as much as we need to feel emotionally fulfilled when we look back at how far we have come in life.

The important thing is that we need to work on both, put in a huge amount of effort in making ourselves happy and joyful. Not just look for passing opportunities, but make those opportunities, till it becomes effortless.

Do you want to be happy? Then darling, BE happy!